Dear Sister
Thank you for your email and im happy that this blog is bringing happiness to you. Please see below the answer to your question, as requested your name and personal details will be kept anonymous.
"Dearest Daughter
There is no question that doubt is a hinderance to spiritual practice but there is also no doubting the fact that at some point in their spiritual journey all abhyasis will have blocks in their practice stemming from doubts that arise at most unexpected times. In most abhyasis these doubts normally arise sooner rather than later-when people first start out on the Sahaj Marg journey they are common and welcomed as doubts are important. But of course they can also present in more seasoned abhyasis such as yourself.
These discouraging thoughts of doubts should not be seen as adverse, damaging or inappropriate but rather as wonderful pearls that are discovered in the ocean that is your soul. Pearls that offer a unique and rare chance for you to strengthen your sadhana and a chance to clear out anything that maybe holding you back from spiritual progression.
It is most important to practice with no hinderances as these can derail an abhyasi from their practice. This is especially so for doubt, which can be the most damaging hinderance but at the same time the most important as the doubts maybe related to the practice itself and should be dealt with in an effective manner as when uncertainty about the practice or even about your own ability is aggresive enough, it can lead to you giving up on the practice.
I, however, welcome doubt. Why is this? Because it works in the abhyasis favour. It can inspire action and the impulse to understand the fear behind the thoughts that create the doubt and instead of being a hinderance it can it can be helpful in leading to more effective practice.
A curious attitude from an abhyasi encourages deep investigation and this in turn can overcome complacency and loosen preconceived ideas.
Doubt may not appear until one is actually in a situation where they least expected to have any. An abhyasi may spend months happily anticipating a bhandara only, upon arrival, to doubt whether it is the right place, time, or bhandara to be on. This is in turn all part of a cleaning practice.
The most insidious doubts are those about YOURSELF and they can be damaging when they concern a lack of confidence in your ability and competance. The spiritual practice involved in being an abhyasi can appear difficult, or you imagine yourself as not possesing the inner capacity required. This can arise when one is intimidated by a goal that seems inpossible to reach. It iis important to remember that even Everest is climbed one small step at a time, slowly and with care and attention to detail
How to resolve any doubts you feel? Careful contemplation may resolve the doubt-write your thoughts in your diary, speak to your MASTER through your heart, have discussions with family, friends and abhyasis or your preceptors.
I urge all abhyasis to have the upmost confidence in their ability to practice-i have faith in all of my beloved children and have no doubts in your abilities. Self confidence is important and you should approach the practice in small steps- like a toddler learning to walk it is done one baby step at a time and yes there may be times where you stumble and crash to the floor but this is all part of the journey.
It can be of use to think of something that inspires you in the practice-a particular speech or anicdote from my son, the person who introduced you to the mission, an experience you have had in the practice or even pictures from trips you have made to ashrams or bhandaras. Bringing these thought to your mind may remind you of how much you value the practice and gladden your heart enough to clear away the shadows of doubt.
The most important thing to remember-every human has a free will and no one is forced to practice Sahaj Marg. Everyone must tread the path that brings them happiness and light in their heart.
BABUJI"
